For many years, my life was a mess – some days it still can be.
I was verbally abused and totally manipulated on a regular basis, which in turn – made me a mark for more – all I wanted to do was constantly please anyone and everyone around me, no matter what I had to do.
I simply wanted to be loved and I thought this was the way to get it done – I didn’t understand that the blessings given are truly blessings received.
My emotional wounds made me harsh and short tempered with those who did in fact love me, and I constantly found myself operating out of fear.
I knew all about Christian living, however – I had not learned to truly receive God’s love, which truly is – the only thing that can heal our sick souls.
That’s right – it wasn’t until I truly surrendered control and starting receiving His love – which is available to all of us – that I’ve finally learned the true meaning of freedom.
You see – I got trapped in the feelings and actions of being inadequate, of failure and of never measuring up.
Oh, but now, through much validation and simple trust – I can honestly say I’ve learned to love myself. Even after all these years – those triggers, the ones when I get hurt or feel I’ve been mistreated unfairly are still around and I can get emotional – it’s then, that old enemy raises his head and does his best to put me down and make me feel the hurt – again.
So yes – I do my best to stay mindful of his ugly ways, and yes – rise above the chaos he wants to bring on me.
I get up each morning with an attitude of service – with the hope that my life lessons can in turn out to be a blessing to someone else. I am now a student of love learning what He wants of me and how He wants me to express it.
Some days, it’s not easy to go where He wants me to go – but I go. I go because more than anything else – I want to please Him.
His love for us is big and He wants us to experience this love way down in the deepest part of our soul – and when we walk in His love – we begin to believe the best of people rather than the worst, and yes – we find ways to encourage them.
We no longer wait until we feel like it or we feel like they’ve earned it. No, we now go out and love on purpose – and yes sweet friends, when we do this – we’re totally amazed at the joy it releases inside.
Learning to love as Jesus loved – what an awesome way to learn to live – let’s get living!
We are loved by love Himself. He loves us big and He loves us strong, and yes – love wins period
”Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” 1John 4:8
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